Book Review: Answers in a time of Miscarriage

by: massprolife

Fri Jul 22, 2011 at 13:19:17 PM EDT

From Answers in a time of Miscarriage by Bethany Kerr Kerr is able to gently suggest to men that their partners want to discuss the tragedy, and suggest to women that men aren't being cold or insensitive when they don't bring the topic up. Kerr also points out places where, in her personal experience, she felt as though she made the wrong decision. For instance, when relaying that she waited a year before telling her other children, she notes that the decision to wait was likely more motivated by her own discomfort in telling the children then in their ability to handle the information. She also listed out her children's questions, and explained the tough ones from the children, such as just the basic question of why the baby had to die. Kerr's responses, tough, agonizing and yet still loving, shows that these situations and questions are not debilitating and move on. Kerr was able to tell her children that no one knows why the child died, and that they all missed the lost child. Kerr relates that the incident ultimately brought their family closer together as they bonded over the collective trauma of losing the unborn member of their family. This is an important book, and filled with such profound and powerful insights that any woman who has gone through losing a child should buy. The natural grief is complicated by a culture that denies the humanity of such children, but that can't change what the woman naturally knows. Redefining the lost child's humanity can't change what the woman knows in her heart: that her precious one has been lost. In some respects this is a pro-life book. It's a pro-life book in that the topic of miscarriage so often comes up in pro-life apologetics. It's pro-life in the sense that it builds the humanity of the unborn and helps mothers and families treat the unborn with the respect they deserve. But this book also transcends mere politics, to enter the heart and relationships between a mother and an unborn child. No law or piece of legislation can alter or affect the love of a woman with her unborn child, and the separation caused by the death of the child in the womb is no less significant because our nation's laws are so confused on whether an unborn has rights. One aspect of that legal confusion is discussed by Kerr, demonstrating her knowledge of many of the practical issues of miscarriages, when she discusses the inconsistent state laws about the child's remains. In some states, the child is regarded as "medical waste" and therefore cannot be given to the mother for a funeral or burial service. These kind of considerations and problems can arise in a moment, but only this book lays it all out so that those going through this tragedy can know what to expect, and foresee problems that will arise. This is an excellent book and every pro-life activist should each have a copy. You can order a copy here. Even those who have thankfully not gone through the loss of a child can benefit from reading it, and understanding and better empathizing with the women who have, and also in better appreciating the many issues and emotions involved in a culture of life that will always have to face these tragedies.